Every Breath

In each moment we are creating our realities through the ways in which we respond to everything around us.  In these last months, during a process of winding up my New York-based life and moving to England, I have been particularly aware of how the power to live fully or not resides with me.  I am experiencing how my mental and emotional filters either allow me to progress easily or, like flotsam in a river, periodically stop me as I get embroiled in the landscape around and within me.  Times are a’changing!  I feel as if an old way of operating is being peeled back and another way is being revealed to me.  I am constantly being asked to trust that all is in Divine order, and to just go with the flow as I meet it, and I have come to realize that there really is no choice but to move with the tide and break free of my conditioning, to drop into the current of creation that says LIVE LIFE NOW… with every breath, in every moment, freely.  This New Way seems to me to be about allowing.  It allows each moment the space to arise freely; it allows every breath to come from the infinite nature of the Divine within; and it allows each choice to be made through the heart, without attachment, from the center of existence.

I am continually cutting this new path these days, seeing when I am falling back into my conditioning, or when I’m moving out of the familiar and into a place and a way of doing things that asks for surrender.  When I first noticed that the impulse to willfully create change for myself wasn’t there I really thought that I was either doing an excellent imitation of an ostrich, burying my head in the sand to the reality of everyday life, or that perhaps I was on a different, albeit unfamiliar track based in trust, patience, and surrender.  I’m now pretty sure it’s the latter.  As I observe it, one of the keys to this new way seems to be in witnessing where I get stuck. I’ve noticed that it is invariably when I am attached to a place, a person, a response or to an outcome.  When I move back from that place into the heart I can let go and allow the fear that seems to underlie all these things to melt away into love.  With love the whole system relaxes and it is impossible to do anything other than accept that whatever is here is what IS.  That includes the love AND it includes the fear, and it allows the movement away from the center to stop and realign in the truth of the moment which as I stop to listen invariably seems to be, ‘It is all OK’.  This new way involves living from Divine Will instead of personal will.

Alongside these realizations about how the limitations of the old way affect my life is an appreciation of how each creative impulse, each breath, is amplified by the nature of the words that I speak, both those uttered internally as thoughts or judgments, and those spoken out loud.  Not only am I noticing how speech lands, but also the effect that it has on me.  I see how the vibration of sound carried with each breath reverberates through me, and where that supports me or distorts me.  I am finding that if I follow the vibration – as thought-form or word – back into the heart, then I can change the patterns arising in my brain and move cleanly back into relationship in whatever form it is taking in the moment.  Last week I was upset with an old friend of mine, feeling it strongly within, and then I moved back to center and instead I saw how holding that current inside created immediate distortions in how I related to everything around me, not just her.  I saw my demand and that at the root of it was my history not her actions.  My own fears and limitations were stopping my life force.  In this new way it is harder to push against the current of truth and remain disharmonious for long.  As the destructive feelings that I’d projected outward melted, an unrestricted, unattached flow of life force returned to me.  It happened easily just by bringing them back to my heart for transformation so that I could be fully in relationship again.

With every breath I take I am reminded of the gift that is Life.  Each breath connects me to everything, and everything is as it should be, even at the same time that fears arise and I feel I need to know something about anything.  The truth is I haven’t a clue where I am going or what I am doing!  Felt in this way there is only laughter and joy and freedom and gratitude present.  In the moments where I forget and feel worry taking over, I know for sure that with the next breath it can all change and I will return to my heart, and to the center of existence with ease.  In Life every breath matters … Every breath.

Every Breath You Take

Every breath you take / Every Sound you make / Every single day / Every word you say / IS creating you.

Every spoken word / Uttered or unheard / In whatever way / Each and every day / It’s creating You.

Every turn you take / From your Heart you make / In the smallest Ways / Every single Day / It is creating you

……(the original lyrics are, of course, by The Police!)

©2011 Sarah Lidsey. All rights reserved. www.sarahlidsey.com

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